Does anyone besides me ever say YES when you really mean NO?
This is something that I have battled with for a long time, and I am really trying to peel the onion peel back and figure out why. WHY I overschedule myself. Why I allow things into my schedule that only water down my effectiveness.
I would really love to hear from you any thoughts and tips on what has helped you!
Psh! YES!!! too many times i have done this.
for me…i just don’t like letting people down. but i think deep inside it’s not wanting to look like the bad guy. so, it’s kinda selfish and fleshy when i really consider the “why”. eeks. that’s not good either
I usually say no when I mean no. When I was a little girl I remember a comment someone made to my mother and I will never forget it ” Why do you always say yes to everyone when you realy don’t want to? It’s like your a welcome mat that everyone steps on.” I watched as my mother stood stunned and later that day I asked her what that statement meant. She told me that because she couldn’t say no because she was a people pleaser and everyone knew it they abused it and used her to their advantage.My mother is one of the most kind hearted women but she missed out on a lot of what she wanted to do or not do because of it. I remember people would drop their kids off for days or weeks at a time because my mom would say yes. I know this is probably so far off from what we say yes to these days but there is a cost even if something apears right and good and helpful …… if it’s to much it’s not good or right or helpful. You can only cut the pizza so many times before the slices are to small to have substance.
Uummm every day. I have such a desire to please those that mean so much to me that I guess I find satisfaction in putting their desires over mine. I struggle with saying no. I feel like I have to have a great reason other than “I don’t want to because I will miss an episode of ‘American Idol’ …On that note I got myself into hosting a Pampered Chef party on the 26th… wanna come?
Yes! I still battle with this…especially when it is service to God. Trying to keep a focus that I am not called to everything, and sometimes someone else is supposed to step up and do things. I am praying more before saying yes, and sometimes I just tell people..”I would really like to say yes, but I have to pray first, and God will have to tell me”
I get funny looks from people! Not in no way do I have this one undercontrol…but hopefully I will learn to say no more often!
Yeah….unfortunately more than I want to admit!!
I just want to be the one who takes cares of or be the helpmate. Unfortunately when it becomes fleshy I get worn out.
Since my stroke, I have actually listed the 10 ten things in my life. I listed the top 10 people in my life. I put my priorities there first. If I have time I do more. I have to remain healthy.
Pinkbug~
I love what you shared here. What a powerful lesson you learned through your mom, and yes it is so applicable to many areas today. You have a real gift of articulating in writing girl. I think you might pray about starting your own blog.:-) Love you!!
Tam…I know exactly what you mean. we can pray then for one another:-)
love you! Storie
Jac….YOU make me laugh. I love your humor!! I am going to practice no…right now:
Unfortuantely I cannot come to your pampered chef party, but I would love a catalog! Thank you for the invite:-)
How did I do? LOL!!
And you and I can help eachother with this, can’t we? Taking time for oursevles so we are better for everyone else.
love you girl….Storie
Darla, Welcome! I am so glad you came over:-) I see you all the time on Tam’s site….love your presence:-)
I think that what you shared as a tip is so helpful. I think so many times I get caught with my pants down because I say yes right on the spot without praying first. Especially when it comes to serving in the body. There is SO much need, and as women especially we want to fill it! But that does not mean that that is where God is calling us to serve. Thank you for your insight. Love, Storie
Heidi, Yes this is our tendecy as women….to see a need and want to help!
Thank you for the tip. I REALLY like this and am going to try it.
You rock! love, Storie
yes, I have done this many times. I believe for me, I was lead to believe that it is a ‘Godly thing to say yes’ to good things. It meat that i was ’selfless’, flexible and caring. I remember one day when we lived on the river i was talking to a friend and she was saying yes, to something she felt like God would want that for her. And the Lord spoke to my heart so clear ‘ ‘ you put that on yourself, i never was asking that of you’. I said, Lord you never were asking me to do that, he said no. But lord it’s so how you are, in your character. yes, it is but i never was asking that of you. Storie this has helped me so much. I makes me stop, a moment and see where it is coming from me or Him. He always leads to peace. Not confusion or business for the sake of business. or what others put on me, always through peace. love you!
Pearl, Once again you hit the nail on the head. Thank you for the story you shared here. There is a lot of wisdom in it…remembering that we do put things upon ourselves that may be very good things, but not what He is asking of us. I’m calling you right now!
love you
Storie
I always enjoyed helping my co-workers. The last few years I worked, when the lay offs started, there was way too much work for too few people. If I didn’t want to be fired myself I had to learn to say no, “I can’t help you”.
The choice becomes doing a lot of jobs poorly or the important work well.
Ed~ wow…that is so true. I appreciate people that can say no. I hope to be more like that. it’s either watered down, or the real thing. I want the real thing! or I should say, I want to give the real thing.
Storie
I’m a people pleaser so I always want to say yes….but hate when I say yes without meaning it! I have actually gotten better since I have had kids, I think I realized that I didn’t want to over commit and then they loose out. This might sound a little rude, but when I am asked “to do something” I never answer right away. I usually tell them that I need to check our schedules or see how childcare will pan out. That gives me time to think about whether or not I actually want to do what I’ve been asked. I really try hard at only saying yes when it is something I am passionate about!
So, I am better than I used to be, but sometimes still let the yes out when it should be no!!
Brandi, This is not selfish at all!
I love it. These are things I have recently started, per advice of my sweet mom. It so helps to say “let me check my schedule”. It gives us time to pray it through, and make sure is something He is calling us to, and again things we love to do. I do not want to be a “watered-down” anything!
love
Storie
Wow! Sometimes I really think you are reading my mind these 2000 miles apart! That’s too funny!
I don’t have any answers for your question, but I’ll keep my eyes and ears open!!