I can feel myself running on the inside again….
As I look around, there is always something to do. Laundry to move, closets to reorganize, dishes to wash, clutter to put away or rid of, a newsletter to write, production to meet, people to phone back, emails to respond to….the list goes on and on, and on and on.
Work is never done. The tedious list of tasks does not include a pajama day, or a “day off”…to do whatever you please! I have held a job since I was 13. My work performance has guided and defined me. Like a boss in charge of a slave. And provided that I keep moving at the pace she defines for me, I am rewarded with messages that say: “You are such a hard worker, and you shall never be accused of being lazy.” She further blows her horn sounding that I am capable, and that I can “earn my keep”. I may run ragged at the end of a day, week or year, but I can stand on what I accomplished. Living for performance is a long and lonely road that leads to wastelands called weariness and fatigue. When I face the restlessness inside, I find myself running from thing to thing, room to room, idea to idea in hopes to escape the restlessness that lives inside. I need to change the voices that I have listened to for so long.
As I sit with the restlessness today in my pajamas, and just let myself be, something inside of me is beginning to relax. The tension is easing. I can hear my heart more clearly.
When you look around there will “always” be work to do. There is a good chance that at the end of the day your “to do” list will be longer than it was in the morning.
Running in your mind is exactly like running with your feet, and can be even more tiring, or stressful..
It is great to read that you are taking some time to “hear my heart more clearly”. Stay in those PJs a little longer. Make your self a drink put a little umbrella in it. Clear your mind of everything but the word “Chill”. It will help if you have a sandbox, or some flowing water, nearby.
I hope you’ve had a good time of resting in your pajamas.
I can’t live like that anymore, but I used to love the feeling at the end of the day that all was done and I did it! I would lie in bed and almost enjoy the pain my body felt from such hard work…until later I realized it was pain from disease.
Rest is good. It gets old when it’s a forced rest, but I understand it better now.
I hope you rest well, Storie.
In 2005, I had five days off. All. Year.
In 2006, it got a little bit better. I had 52 days off.
2007 was pretty good with 104 days off.
2008? Not as much fun with a mad stretch of 111 work days in a row and 40 days off all year.
(All this and I have a blog, too!)
2009? Pajama Time!!!
Thanks for the reminder, Storie!
Ed–I think we share a love for the beach! I wish I had a sandbox;-)
Michelle, it is so good hearing from you. Your insight is always so thoughtful. I hope you are well?:-)
Nor, hey there good buddy! I am so impressed that you had those days numbered! They are so precious, aren’t they? It is so good hearing from you.
~Storie
Thinking of you Storie and praying that you are having a blessed day.
Hugs,
~nance
Great stuff as usual Storie! I’m constantly reminded as well that the things that really matter never demand my attention, yet when I wake up to make the coffee every day God reminds me again and again that nothing will separate me from His love.
I’m driven to that love even when the urgent overshadows the important. I’m not a puppet on a string, but once again that love holds no bounds to the way it shows up in my life. I may not slow down long enough to pray, sing or read His Writings, but His presence always seems to communicate I have nothing to fear.
Lord Jesus, you are supreme above all. Nothing in all of creation exists apart from you. You made everything. You even made work. May all I do, say and think reflect you dear Jesus as, albeit imperfectly, I glorify your name in my life. Amen.
Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!
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Making Money $150 An Hour
Hi, Storie. Just stopping in to see how you’re doing.
So…How you doing?
Storie,
You are loved with a love we can’t even begin to understand, but that doesn’t mean we can’t embrace it for everything it is.
Your friend in Nashville,
Daniel